I am complex from inside

My life has always been a conglomeration of extremes:
I crave to strike a balance
And reach a state of equilibrium
But life keeps throwing on me these ‘extreme’ situations:
Sometimes with dream-come-true opportunities (that I don’t do justice to)
Sometimes with a sea full of sorrow.

I’ve become an insomniac
Fighting my past that keeps looming on me all the time
Trying to clear my hazy vision of future that beckons me
I’m not happy, I’m not sad
I’m not in a symmetrical state either.

My heart craves to dive back into the glorious days of the past
Those days when I was taken care of like a baby in my Knight’s arms
Those days when I was loved for the person I was
Those days when my world revolved around my nearest and dearest
Now everything has petered out in a jiffy.

Pulling myself up from the disconnectedly connected state I’m in
Mollifying myself into believing that everything will be fine soon
Psyching myself to get comfortably numb to everything around me
Opening my eyes to prospective golden opportunities of tomorrow
With courage and hope, I take a deep breath and get on with my life.