Writer's block

Creativity has gone for a toss, life at its lowest phase and laziness over-shadowing everything I do. This basically sums up my state of mind. 

I work for the shoddiest company I could think of and people ask me to be grateful that I at least have a job when the world is hit by the recession. I work for a moron who knows nothing of what he does and I work with people who are looking forward to creating politics to steer forward. They pull me down to surge ahead. They do not hesitate in shamelessly taking credit for my work and I have lost the power of words that I once prided myself in. I know I cannot write half as well as I used to and the feeling does not help me feel much better about myself. I have lost the ability to dream and think creatively. I have been told over and over again that I am a hopeless journalist to the extent that I have started believing them. I can’t seem to complete my education (not that I have tried hard enough to).

My friend tries patiently and painstakingly, over and over again to make plans for me, schedules my day and however hopelessly I try, I always seem to unsuccessful in sticking to those plans and schedules. I have bad friends and the few good ones I have, find me to be bad.

I think I am a hopeless misfit in every sphere of society. A bad daughter, a bad cousin, a bad friend, a bad student and now thanks! A bad journalist. I have forgotten how is it to laugh out loud… completely happy… people think I am lazy and lethargic… the truth being: I am UNHAPPY to the truest sense of the word. Nothing seems to make sense. I am doing what I don’t want to do and I can’t seem to decide what I want to do.

And as I now read what I have written, I feel like puking over the place over my lack of creativity.

In short two words sum it all up: LIFE SUCKS!!!